August 30th, 3:43 am

Finally decided to play ranked and got placed into silver 2 after going 6-4. I could’ve easily went 9-1, but no one listens and we threw a bunch of games. I also just got demoted to silver 3. The people I play with are worse than what I get in normals, at least my teammates are. I should’ve stopped playing after I lost two games in a row and I hate myself for not thinking ahead. Now I have to work even harder just to get back to where I was placed. I should be playing better myself, but my teammates are seriously stupid every single game. Every single game…. They all go like 0-13. I try to help them and they don’t cooperate. I’m stressing out so much. All I do is play this game and I’m not good enough to carry them. Its easier to carry people in normals, because like I said they seem to be a lot better even though they’re lower rank. I seriously hate myself right now. It has to do with the game and it doesn’t. I spend a lot of my time playing so I just expect results and I’m performing like shit. I have been performing like shit for a few days. So its kind of like, if this is all you do… What do you have to show for it? Nothing. I’ve been playing for about a year now, I really just expect more from myself like I would from anything else. Nothing has been really been going my way in my life recently also so this is kind of the last straw. A lot of things have been stressing me out. I really just want my family to send me to Asia after this semester of school. I need a break from everything. I’m not going to last like this. School isn’t that bad, but its everything else. The family problems and what not, theres so much going on. I’ve never in my life felt like I didn’t have a future but I don’t feel like I have one right now. Its honestly kind of a sad thought. I don’t see what getting “help” would do. My brothers and other people have suggested it. Honestly, what are they going to do? Listen to me talk about my problems and prescribe me pills that apparently could make things worse? It costs a good amount of money also i’m pretty sure, I seriously don’t know what to do. I’m supposed to go to the mall with my family tomorrow so I should probably go to bed. I don’t really want to go lol.

"Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it…Don’t allow his anger to become your anger."
- Bohdi Sanders, Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior (via ssarahndipity)

(via letsfuk)

I wonder

If the people that make you feel certain emotions in your dreams can make you feel those emotions in real life if you run into them or are lucky enough to know them. Probably not since your dreams are your own, but maybe somehow. I remember everything about that dream except who the girl was, but she made me happy. For once. Even if it was just a dream, it was nice for a little while. I wish I remember who you were.

So…

My brother has run into a lot of my friends and apparently they’ve all been asking about me. I kind of just disappeared I guess. I wasn’t the most popular person, but I talked to a lot of people and maintained close relationships with a good amount of people. Starting last year that all kind of changed though. Everyone tried to get into contact with me and get me back out, which was nice for a while. People change as they get older though and just like most of last year, currently I just kind of want to be left alone. I used to text a lot of people almost all day and now you’re lucky if I even reply to one of your texts (not because I’m cool or anything but because I don’t text much). Some people have even gotten mad at me for my seemingly complete 180 degree turn of my social habits. My family has noticed too and still tries to push me to go out and hang out with someone. Am I lonely? Maybe. Is it depressing? Surprisingly no, but there are times. I go out and eat and skate with either Alex or Branden every now and then though. Generally though, you can call me a shut in. All in all, I like being alone. The saying ”No one likes a loner” comes to mind. I care and I don’t care at the same time. I don’t sleep much some days and some I sleep too much. I think I’m becoming a nicer person though which I actually care about a lot. I don’t receive a lot of kindness, but I definitely want to be a source of kindness for anyone I may run into when I’m out and about. Its weird, I’m literally tired all of the time. Even when I get a good night sleep. Its not the same as being lazy (trust me I would know).

halloweem:

not so long ago, in the mysterious land of toronto, canada, scott pilgrim was dating a tumblr user.

coloradoanatelophobic:

meetaclassybitch:

The first picture is me and my twinbrother when we were 3 years old. The second picture is me on my brother’s funeral. He was 18 years old and killed himself. I don’t care if this ruins your blog. I want you to reblog this and make a statement.

The first picture is worldfamous. Even Kendall Jenner posted it on her instagram account.We were on the news because no one knew that the picture was 15 years old. But people need to realize that life isn’t as pretty as the picture tells us. Life is cruel. Just like our society. And I’ve lost my best friend because of it. Teenagers are suppose to have fun, instead of thinking about killing themselves. 

I hope this will get to Kendall Jenner and she’ll defend my statement. Because no one will probably listen to me… 

Being a twin this completely wrecked my heart.

(via rollinglulu)